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Allison Holker is a dancer, choreographer and television personality that has continued to shine a light on both the joys of life along with more challenging moments. This is evident when the dancer had revealed more details regarding the loss of her husband.
Allison Holker is releasing a new book “This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light” that explores grief and resilience. Within her journey she shares experiences and important topics about addiction along with insights into how others should communicate about this often uncomfortable topic.
The new book comes from the experience when Holker had uncovered substances hidden away in boxes in a closet belonging to her husband after his passing. The experience was a moment where there were emotions that could not easily be described for the actress and mother.
Holker, throughout her book dives into the events of what she discovered after her late husband Stephen "tWitch" Boss committed suicide. Details included substance use along with underlying pain from childhood trauma which also may have played into a large component of who he was. Her main intention is to shed more awareness onto mental health struggles as they are often over looked and brushed under the rug.
She learned he was battling things that were difficult for him to talk about and she noted his shame as the core root to his silence. Holker found evidence that was found from personal journals from the deceased which helped shine a light on his inner struggles. The journaling created some understanding to many things left unsaid during their life together.
Many clues point to the days before that he was dealing with intense personal conflict that were unknown even to those closest to him. Before he had been missing from their home his final words “I wish I could be your superman” were something his daughter had mentioned when he dropped her off at school, leaving her with words that would carry emotional weight with them. While still a positive expression those words will now have multiple layers to them for his children.
Holker has become dedicated to speaking on all topics she has experienced from learning about her husbands private struggles to his passing. She states therapy has helped along with working with different groups. She also shares these moments in hope that it will help others and remind them they are not alone in their grief.
She partnered with different organizations such as National Alliance of Mental Illness and Maple Counseling with an effort to raise awareness for the issue of mental health. Holker emphasizes that talking and creating support are the key components needed during difficult times. Her personal journey and her push for conversation will be able to aid countless individuals going forward.
Holker’s choice to publicize some aspects of the details in Boss' passing has received mixed responses. Candiace Dillard from the “Real Housewives of Potomac” was amongst a few who spoke against her actions by mentioning a need to protect the Black family's legacy. However most viewers showed compassion while stating the value in opening up this space for discussion on hard topics.
The contrasting views surrounding the level of disclosure show the fine line between a need to grieve privately to also share so others feel a need to speak on topics that are hard. The story became about her as an advocate to continue to honor her late husbands legacy in her unique perspective.
The book shares a theme that while it will never completely heal, focusing on moving forward, acknowledging difficult situations, learning new tools to handle loss and working with loved ones during those challenges is necessary and essential. The story became more of an understanding of personal experiences in grief.
While some of her experience was hard, ultimately, she wanted the reader to take away the need for transparency and honesty with inner and outer relationships, as well as showing how important love really can be. Those moments are what she is trying to represent for those going through a difficult process and also wanting to come out of that in an enlightened manner.